I’ve hit the ‘six month of feeding through the night and now I’m really tired mark’. The other night I stumbled, still half asleep, into Gracie’s room to pick her up to feed her –picked her up and soon realised I was holding her upside down, I was so tired I wasn’t even seeing properly… The days of hopping out of bed delighted to feed my brand new bundle of joy are well and truly over. I’m sure many of you are there and have been there for even longer. The good news is that ‘this too will pass’ – but for now there are days (and today is one of them) when I look at the mess in the boys room, the washing to do, the sticky calpol to clear up, not to mention the looking after the children who needed the sticky calpol, and I feel completely overwhelmed. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the day, let alone have something to bring to the Captivated meeting at my house tonight!
As I cleaned the bathroom earlier, whilst Joey watched Mr Tumble and Gracie took one of her cat naps I asked God to speak into my day. The prayer went something like this.
“God, Joey is really grumpy this morning – it’s only 9.30am and he has already had to sit on the step. But I am grumpy too and could probably do with some thinking time on the step as well. Joey’s paddies look a bit like what’s going on inside me. Please will you speak to me. Please will you help me. I need you…”
I came downstairs, and as Joey shouted ‘Mr Tumble’ at the top of his lungs, I picked up my Bible and read. It’s a fairly recent revelation that I don’t have to stare blankly at the TV screen when watching cbeebies – I can in fact do other things, like read my Bible! God reminded me of the story of the feeding of the 4000. He reminded me that he is more than able to give me all that I need to face each day. The boy’s bedroom and all I need to do, feels a bit like 4000 hungry people who need me to feed them. And my energy levels, patience levels and ‘what I can cope with levels’ feel like the measly few loaves and fishes.
But Jesus “took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. They all ate and were satisfied.”-Mat 15:36
God wants to give me, us, all that we need. He knows how much sleep we got last night. He knows what kind of health we have at the moment. He knows what kind of day we had yesterday and He knows what kind of day we are going to face today. He knows each and every one of our situations and he can provide not just enough strength, energy, patience but far more than enough. Even enough to enable us to share what God has given us with other people. This is the God we worship!
Let’s keep telling God we need him because we really do and when we do tell him God gives us more than enough!